Enough

"I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want."
Phillipians 4:12

Yowsers.

I don't even know how to be content when I haven't had lunch.

I'm not sure why, but something happens to my personality when I haven't eaten in a while. I get a little antsy, a little snippish...and all of a sudden I am most certainly not content. Very little can make me happy...and woe to those who are around me.

I'm writing this tonight because I kind of feel like that right now. It is an interesting thing, really...because I know that when I wake up in the morning everything will be better and I'll feel fine.

It is very frustrating and very humbling to know that despite all of my training, all of my understanding of who God is, and all the progress I have made, a simple thing like skipping a meal can make me as cantankerous and grouchy as any three-year old.

Am I this weak? Am I this frail? Am I this much a prisoner of flesh and blood? Where are the lessons of my life and faith?

Washed away, I think...by the simplest of human frailties.

When I am like this, I know I'm not content. And I know I should be. That makes it worse. It's like stepping outside of yourself for moment and watching yourself do something very foolish yet having no power to change things.

In response to this situation, we might wonder if the secret of Paul's contentment is about something we need to do. It makes sense. I mean, if he could do be at peace, why can't I force myself to be content? Surely I could at least come somewhat close.

I simply need to follow his six easy steps, and all will be well.

Or not.

You see, there are no ready made steps. There are no actions that can magically make everything better. Things may have to change, but that's not what ultimately will fix me. For--in the end--Paul's contentment is is not because of what he has done.

It's because of who he knows. Who he trusts. Who carries him.

"I can do everything through him who gives me strength."

Phillipians 4:13