"When the wine was gone, Jesus' mother said to him, 'They have no more wine.'"
"Dear woman, why do you involve me?" Jesus replied. "My time has not yet come."
This week begins a new phase in my life. Over the course of the past few years I've gone from child to adult, from student to graduate, from volunteer to youth pastor...and now I'm going from intern to supervisor.
This week marks the first time in my life I'm overseeing an intern. He's helping out with our youth ministry this summer, and I am excited about the prospects. In three days I've been able to accomplish more than in the entirety of the past two months. It's astounding.
But at a certain level, its daunting having him here. Daunting to realize that I am responsible for directing someone else in this way. I don't know if I feel ready for this step...but here it is.
I think of Jesus early in the book of John. Not yet having started his ministry in earnest...not yet having performed a miracle. And there's his mom, telling him to get out there and starting really living his calling.
His response is not that enthusiastic. He tells her it's not his time. Why? Well, maybe he's not quite ready yet. Maybe for a fleeting moment he's not sure. Or maybe he's talking about something else entirely. I don't know.
All the same, I take comfort in these words...the words of what may be a slightly hesitant Savior thinking about taking his first steps in fulfilling the time He was called for.
While our callings are different than his, we often face the same kinds of moments. Dividing lines in our lives between childhood and adult life, simply living and real destiny. And sure, we can try and turn away, hopefully imagining that the time we've both looked forward to and deeply feared might be put off for just a little while longer. It's a real option.
Or like Jesus ends up doing, we might stop for a moment, considering the purpose we were made for, and see what we can do about that lack of wine right in front of us.
3 comments:
It is astounding to me how timely your topics are for me. I am about to take on a new privilege/honor/responsibility myself and I'm talking to myself about it.
When I get around to talking to God about it, I'll feel more comfortable. The outcome of anything is not entirely in our hands. I find that to be a comfort these days.
One might think of ambivalence as yet another one of God's gifts - Holding strong to the comforts of the known, whilst considering the benefit - or detriment, for that matter - of another of life's pages yet to be written as we take that step forward. The gift here is in the evaluation of both elements and in knowing that the one certainty we have is that God's hand is in the direction... and having faith in that certainty is really all we need.
Of course, leave it to me to be vulgar, but I often find myself trying to do something about the lack of wine in front of me. What really strikes me about what you said is how adventuresome it can seem. I wonder, just before he turned the water into wine, did He ask himself, boy, what will they say about this centuries from now? Did it cause Him to Hesistate, at least just a second, while his divine nature sort of...sorted all that out? What was it like to take that first step? Was there a knot in his stomach? I think we can see a lot of this hesitancy during a lot of stages of His life, but never once did He decide to turn back from what he had set out to do. Even when He actualy wanted to! After living life as a human, knowing what it was to feel as a human feels, not even Jesus wanted to be crucified. But he sure did it anyway. Even in hesitancy, perhaps fear, he never doubted. He took the task that was given to him, and he did it obediently for The Father. Even when it seemed to scare him. So, I suppose that even if God was for a moment scared of what he had to do, that gives us a bit of a license to be scared as well.
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