You see, I don't want others thinking that a pastor is so righteous and perfect and thus serving God more than they are in their own divinely appointed vocations.
Besides....aren't we all supposed to be ministers of a sort? Aren't we all supposed to spread the gospel and live as Christ for others? If so, how can the pastor be more holy than anyone else?In this way I try to dissuade people from the notion that ministers are better or set apart from any other Christians.
But I've begun to realize something.
I guess I've thought about it before, but it hit home yesterday during a youth group trip to Six Flags. While there, I was able to spend some time and talk with some of the young people...and I began to grasp the immense responsibility I would be taking on.
It's not that I suddenly realized my vocation as a part-time youth pastor made me better than anyone else. Not at all.
It's that I began to understand what was at stake. That being a minister was actually a very dangerous thing.
"Not many of you should presume to be teachers, my brothers, because you
know that we who teach will be judged more strictly."
James 3:1
"But if anyone causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it
"But if anyone causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it
would be better for him to have a large millstone hung around his neck and
to be drowned in the depths of the sea."
Matthew 18:6
It is enough sometimes to worry about my own failings and faults. I have plenty. But when I think about the impact that these same flaws might have on others for whom I am responsible...it makes me shudder.
Hearing the Scripture speak on this matter gives me a lot to seriously think about. A lot for which I must depend on God and his never-failing grace.
For whether it is supposed to be this way or not, whether I want it to be this way or not, or whether I can help it or not, people will often be looking to me to hear God's voice and learn more about Him. What I do and what I say will have great impact.
More than anything, I want to lead lead young people to a place where they can know and serve and follow God together without a pastor telling them what to do. That is, I think, what a minister is here for.
But that doesn't get me off the hook. I still have to help lead them there.
It is this that makes me realize how much I need God's help.
2 comments:
Josh-- I appreciate your struggle, because I share it. Here I am, called to a specific ministry in the church, set apart for it even, through four years of special study, a zillion meetings, interviews, background checks, personality assessments, more interviews and so on... yet my Lutheran tradition emphasizes the priesthood of all believers. We are all ministers of our Lord's gospel. Why then should it be so difficult to become who I am by virtue of my baptism into God's family? But there is something different too... is it a different expectation from others, from ourselves, or from God? Christian life is one of tensions. I guess this is no different.
Anna--Good point about tension. Maybe just learning to be faithful within the tensions of life and faith is half the battle.
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