Lear: "Dost thou call me fool, boy?"
I am not sure what to write. Musings about life, Scriptural thoughts, random observations...well, they all aren't really grabbing me today.
Because today I am sad. Sad for choices I have made. Sad for some of the things I've become. Sad for some of the ways I have treated others.
This week is known as "Holy Week." For Christians, it serves to mark the last days of Jesus' life. It comes at the end of the season of repentance and fasting known as Lent and culminates in Good Friday and Easter.
Much of today's sadness is connected to a certain mourning I have been in for nearly this entire Lenten season. A mourning for specific choices made and actions taken.
And despite the fact that the Resurrection is almost here, I'm not ready for it.
I know about grace and I know about forgiveness. I've preached about them and experienced them and shared them with others. But now it all seems too easy. Grace seems cheap.
Maybe all of this is meant in some small way to help me understand the weight of sin and death that was the Cross. That somehow Jesus managed to carry this too.
But why did he have too? Well, because of me. Because of you. Because of our woeful and damning disregard of ourselves and others. And if that doesn't give us pause for mourning in this Holiest of Weeks, I am not sure anything will.
All I know is that I am sad.
And frankly, a fool.
2 comments:
Be reassured that all good souls find their morality for a few seconds this time of year. But don't fret, they'll lose it by tomorrow.
lose your morality and you are a spectator. Hold to it through a storm that tears you to peices, and you are a warrior.
None of us are read for grace, otherwise, it wouldn't be grace.
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