Pop-Pop

The past is where I live. It's how I think. It's who I am. Matter of fact, I like the past so much that a good portion of my life's work seems destined to be focused on it.

When it comes to my personal thoughts about the past, I have often taken the time to reflect on my family's own journey. My heritage. The way in which my ancestors ended up where they were and lived the stories I've only ever heard.

And while these facts and romantic imaginings do still hold my attention, I find that the older I get the more of my own past there is to reflect on. To laugh at. To yearn for. To cry about.

I'm thinking today of my grandfather--the only person I've ever loved who has died.

And believe me, there are a lot of memories there.

Flying with him in his plane. Eagerly looking for candy in his coat pockets when he'd visit. "Helping" with his air conditioner repair business. Going to the flea market and watching him haggle over some item.

Of all these recollections, there is one above all others I hope will become a permanent part of my life.

I don't know how old I was...probably that awkward phase between child and teenager when nothing seems quite right. Some kind of nonsense was going on with my family or in my life, and he and I were together and talking. Well, he probably did most of the talking...but I definitely listened.

As we sat there he told me to be a man of my word. To keep promises that I made. To always make sure to follow through on what I said I would do. Basically, he told me I needed to be the kind of person people could depend on. I respect those words...and they've stuck with me.

And though I don't have my journal from college in front of me right now, I'm pretty sure it was when he died during my sophomore year that I pledged to live out that advice in his memory. Whatever else might happen, that's something I'll always have.

While sober reflection tells me I haven't come close to following those words as fully as I could have, remembering them now encourages me yet again to try and be the person he hoped I'd become.