Polite society has innumerable rules. Some are logical and thought through, some are plainly obvious, while others...well, they are stuff of pure fancy. Whatever the case, they are that by which most of the world--at the very least most of our particular world--operates.It doesn't take a complicated book of etiquette to delineate the many ways in which these laws guide our every actions.
In my mind, one of the most hallowed of these guidelines is simply to mind your own business. It is a code that dare not be broken lest the bonds of familiarity and friendship be stretched too far and snap back upon any transgressor with a painful fury.
For better or for worse I have followed this rule for most of my life. It is my default position. It's who I am. But here's the rub...does the Christian life allow for such individual and solitary living, or does it call for something more?
Two of my reasons for asking these questions have to do with recent experience.
Since becoming a youth minister, it has been my job to oversee the spiritual development of a group of teenagers. I am their pastor. I am responsible for helping them to grow in their relationship with God.
And, well, whether they ask for it or not I seem to have this tacit duty to call them to account on the state of their lives, morals, and choices. Its hard to know exactly what to do with that power and how to use it wisely.
The concept of accountability itself, so recently the rage in Christian circles, is the second reason for my late night pondering. Deriving from the idea that Christians are supposed to build each other up and help each other grow spiritually, accountability partners seek to develop closer walks with God by encouraging one another and calling one another to task over sin.
All well and good, I suppose...and often needed. But where does one draw the line? Should any Christian be able to call any other to account? Are the limits to accountability? Is there in the end some wisdom to minding your own business?
When does a Christian call the other to account and when do they simply let them find their own way? For if judgment itself must always be performed with great humility, so too must accountability.
We, after all, might be in the wrong ourselves.
Something about the blind leading the blind echoes in my ears, making me think yet again that only by looking to Christ can we truly understand what it means to see that to which we must keep account.
4 comments:
So! Maybe this is where your previous, much-responded-to entry originated?
"Calling to account" sounds a little bit harsh. I imagine being a pastor to a group of adolescents might call for a pretty strong hand sometimes.
Seems, though, that some of the standard Good Communication Rules might come into play to good effect.
Examples:
"I feel that you might be on shaky ground with that action."
"I did that/felt that way once, too, and this is what happened..."
"How's that workin' for you?"
"If you keep doing that, what do you foresee as the consequences?"
Too simplistic?
I like your examples. I've probably used or will use all of them in talking with our teens.
But what of those times when a person doesn't see anything wrong with their lives...when they have so convinced themselves that they are in the right that they need a firm hand in their lives and nothing else will do?
What of the maxim that "Love Must Be Tough?"
Aha. So we're talking about some truly serious, dangerous behavior here.
You look as if you could summon up a pretty good Stern Disappointed Face while saying, "I'm sorry to have to tell you that I think what you're doing is Just Plain Wrong."
And then you explain your concerns and say that you are Very Concerned. And you say that, despite your Christian love for the person, you might need to, for the sake of your own soul, go to The Authorities.
And then the kid blows you off and then what?
I don't know.
"because its wrong.."
interesting quote from an excelent Lit prof. "You can't fool the body (of Christ)" Corroboration is meaningful, sometimes when our individual advice might first be rebuffed.
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