But go and learn what this means: 'I desire mercy, not sacrifice.'-Jesus
I have a problem with sin. You see, I keep doing it. I don't really want to, but I guess a part of me does. Because I keep doing it.
As I sin, I feel guilty. I ask forgiveness of God, and then I feel better. But then I sin again.
The cycle of guilt and repentance and forgiveness continues on and on. And despite what all of this says about my ability to avoid sin and seek a higher way, there is something at work here even more insidious.
I've noticed that my own progress, growth, and maturity in the spiritual life becomes very limited when I am constantly asking forgiveness for mistakes over and over again. My prayers become very similar. When I'm in this mode of thinking, the only time I do pray is to ask for forgiveness.
Now, I know that I need constantly to recognize my own failures and turn to God for forgiveness. I need His grace in my life. But that's not all that my relationship with God is supposed to be about.
It can't be.
I like what David says in Psalm 69: "I will praise God's name in song and glorify him with thanksgiving. This will please the Lord more than an ox, more than a bull with its horns and hoofs."
The Scripture talks of salvation by grace through faith. Is this the same as what I sometimes do? Am I in a relationship with God or am I just replicating the old legalistic sacrificial system with the righteousness-seeking prison of my own vain repetition?
What kind of relationship is it if I only come to God asking for things? On the face of it, not a good one.
To have a real relationship with anyone, including God, is much more complicated--and meaningful--than that. It means opening my life and sharing, really sharing, its ups and downs and ins and outs. To listen as much as I speak. To be more concerned about the other than about myself.
As I sin, I feel guilty. I ask forgiveness of God, and then I feel better. But then I sin again.
The cycle of guilt and repentance and forgiveness continues on and on. And despite what all of this says about my ability to avoid sin and seek a higher way, there is something at work here even more insidious.
I've noticed that my own progress, growth, and maturity in the spiritual life becomes very limited when I am constantly asking forgiveness for mistakes over and over again. My prayers become very similar. When I'm in this mode of thinking, the only time I do pray is to ask for forgiveness.
Now, I know that I need constantly to recognize my own failures and turn to God for forgiveness. I need His grace in my life. But that's not all that my relationship with God is supposed to be about.
It can't be.
I like what David says in Psalm 69: "I will praise God's name in song and glorify him with thanksgiving. This will please the Lord more than an ox, more than a bull with its horns and hoofs."
The Scripture talks of salvation by grace through faith. Is this the same as what I sometimes do? Am I in a relationship with God or am I just replicating the old legalistic sacrificial system with the righteousness-seeking prison of my own vain repetition?
What kind of relationship is it if I only come to God asking for things? On the face of it, not a good one.
To have a real relationship with anyone, including God, is much more complicated--and meaningful--than that. It means opening my life and sharing, really sharing, its ups and downs and ins and outs. To listen as much as I speak. To be more concerned about the other than about myself.
This is what I need. This is what all of us need. And I hope that by God's grace I can learn to live with Him in this way more and more.
So, once again, I must listen to Jesus.
So, once again, I must listen to Jesus.
But go and learn what this means: 'I desire mercy, not sacrifice.'
Matthew 9:13
3 comments:
Hey Josh,
I feel the same way somtimes...
"Lord lead me into temptation just a little, then pull me back out!"
I stuggle with some issues, but as I give them more to God I have less desire too sin. Some people think of God as a jacket, take him out of the closet put him on when you need him, then hang him back up.
God is a friend, a father figure, there to be loved and to give love.
And it is AWESOME that we can come to him and talk.
Good stuff.
You're right--it is awesome that we can actually come to God and talk. I was just thinking how horrible it would be if all I could do was ask forgiveness and never talk about anything else with God. Sure, I'd be forgiven...but I'd be missing out on so much.
Talk to you soon, my friend.
JZ
Josh,
This is a very encouraging idea. And I think the more we get to know God, the less the relationship becomes God saying 'you do this' and 'you do that' and the more it becomes a dialogue of 'let's do this, and let's do that.'
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